Although I know I still owe you four restaurant reviews, things have been a little crazy around here lately and I will have to beg your indulgence for a little while before I actually get to them. I can always tell when I start getting a little stressed or feel like my world is spinning a little out of control because it starts to reflect in my dreams. Last night it was play-doh yarn. Apparently I was in a speed knitting competition with three other people on my team (yeah, team speed knitting, my dreams are a little kooky). The last round was a charted lace pattern with cables and my team member who was supposed to to that round declared that she couldn’t do it, and that I would have to take over. “No problem,” says I, I love knitting from charts, lace and cables. She hands me her ball of yarn, which is already cast on for another project and that really annoys me since now I have to take time, rip it out, rewind the ball and cast on, but okay, I do that and get ready to cast on for the round, knowing I’m already far behind the other competitors. Next thing I know, I look down at my hand and have a bunch of play-doh, which I’m supposed to “spin” into yarn. Now normally, I know (in my dream) one would need to wait for the play-doh yarn to dry before trying to knit with it, but I’m in a hurry so I start knitting with it while it’s still wet and my stitches blur together as of course stitches made out of wet play-doh are wont to do. At this point, completely frustrated, I woke up because the baby was crying and it was time to feed him.
As I was sitting in the nursery feeding Bubba (yes, we finally have a nickname, and isn’t it oh-so-Southern!), I was reflecting on this very strange dream and realized that it really reflected how I’ve been feeling in my life lately. I’ve been spinning my wheels and working just as hard as I can, and still feel like there is so much left to do. The play-doh is holding me back. In additon to having a new little baby, who is a joy, but not allowing me much sleep, I have a four-year-old who requires a great deal of attention as well. More than normal because we need to make sure she still feels valued even with the new little man in the house. Plus, we have finally completed an addition to our home that we began back in July which has been the main contributor to my workload increasing so much. Who knew that such a good thing could cause me such stress? Daily I’m working on projects to set up the addition, which includes two bathrooms, a guest room, storage closet, an office for my husband, and a recreation space with a bar. Plus, I’m trying to keep the rest of the house in order. Each evening I put together a to-do list of the things I can think of that need to be done and work as hard as I can getting them done during the day. That evening, I go back over the list and am usually pretty proud of what I’ve accomplished. And then I add the new things that I’ve thought of during the day….and the list grows…
Over the past two weeks I’ve put together a ridiculous amount of furniture. Outfitted bathrooms with all the things they need. Set up a guest room (okay, not totally set up, I still haven’t picked the furniture I want). I’ve been going through closets sorting out the things that can go out to the storage area. Setting up a play room and a knitting room that I’m starting to wonder if I will ever be able to use. Oh, and kept myself, my husband and my two kids alive, clothed and fed! All of these are good things, all of them are blessings, so why do I feel so crazed and why am I having anxiety dreams? I’m hoping it’s just because I am very, very tired right now. My poor husband came upstairs last night to find me face-planted in our bed after my shower. I really didn’t mean to go to sleep, I was still putting my pj’s on, but two hours later he found me diagonal across the bed drooling. Maybe soon, when all the projects are done and the baby is sleeping better, I can sit back, reflect on all that’s gotten done and smile because really, my life is goodl, but for now, I’m going to sign off and start another list! Wish me luck, I promise I won’t always be complaining like a little whiner.